My father and I do not have that great relationship. I’m not even sure it could be considered good. It wasn’t always like that. As a boy, as I imagine with all boys, he was an extremely big part of my life.
I think the change started when I was six. Dad had always been there, but suddenly he wasn’t. I found out years later he had volunteered to go on TDY more often and we didn’t see him very often.
After my parents divorced we saw him even less. I think it was about once every three years. But still the relationship did not strain.
After I left home things started going home. I started to become sensitive to the negative things he would say about Mom. I made it very clear that I did no want to hear those kind of things about my mother. It was then that he started to talk about how bitter he was over the divorce. But I found out later it was his infidelity that was largely responsible for the divorce.
Even so, I love him, in spite of the many broken promises, and the unkind words, not toward me but to my brother. I try to maintain that relationship, but whenever we speak it feels strained.
I am envious of those who have great relationships with their fathers and those whose parents love the Lord. For this reason, I pray to be the father my children that my father never was to me. I pray to be the father that God wants all fathers to be.