Father’s Day

My father and I do not have that great relationship. I’m not even sure it could be considered good.  It wasn’t always like that.  As a boy, as I imagine with all boys, he was an extremely big part of my life.

I think the change started when I was six.  Dad had always been there, but suddenly he wasn’t.  I found out years later he had volunteered to go on TDY more often and we didn’t see him very often.

After my parents divorced we saw him even less.  I think it was about once every three years.  But still the relationship did not strain.

After I left home things started going home.  I started to become sensitive to the negative things he would say about Mom.  I made it very clear that I did no want to hear those kind of things about my mother. It was then that he started to talk about how bitter he was over the divorce.  But I found out later it was his infidelity that was largely responsible for the divorce.

Even so, I love him, in spite of the many broken promises, and the unkind words, not toward me but to my brother.  I try to maintain that relationship, but whenever we speak it feels strained.

I am envious of those who have great relationships with their fathers and those whose parents love the Lord.  For this reason, I pray to be the father my children that my father never was to me.   I pray to be the father that God wants all fathers to be.

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